Monday Morning

I am hoping to hear some good news this week. Hopefully sooner than later. I am going to Minneapolis for a visit on Wednesday and if I have made it through to the second MC Saatchi interview than I am going to have to change my return ticket. That's not too big of a problem, it's just the waiting. There are a few places that I haven't heard back from. They claim that they will tell you a yes or a no, but I can understand where they are coming from. They've got tons of applications to go through and then they've got to contact people. I am going to chase up AMV today. Some people are posting that they are hearing back so I just want to make sure. You never know.

The advertising graduated scheme application frenzy has died down for me. I was really caught up in it a few weeks ago. Like everyone I suppose. Constantly checking the discussion boards to see if anyone else had heard anything. It can start to take over your life, if you let it. Especially when you are unemployed and have nothing but time on your hands to obsess about it. I feel like I definitely past the obsession point. It would be an amazing opportunity to take part in a graduate scheme, but it's not my only chance at getting in. It also doesn't mean that I am not a talented person. We all like to win and have someone think that we are amazing, but it's more important to believe in yourself.

I thought I gave a great interview. I have to remember that I don't know what they are looking for. They might want really young graduates who they can mold into their image or they could want people with a certain look. Who knows. It doesn't mean that I am not good enough. I was chatting with one person via Facebook emails and they were really gutted that they weren't getting any interviews. They thought it must have been because they were rubbish. It's simply not true. You just have to keep going and never give up. I think I am finally getting used to how competitive it is here.

I have been having a hard time adjusting to living in London. I got completely overwhelmed with my job search and started to feel really awful. While it's very competitive here there are also so many opportunities. I started to feel like I didn't know how to go about finding a job. Which of course if silly, because I knew how to get a job in Minneapolis, but here I started to loose my confidence. That in and of itself was a terrible feeling. I usually always feel confident. I was and am worried about my CV and how it comes across here. Is it strongly written? Those kind of things. Knowing where to even find jobs. A lot of time people use recruitment agencies. There are a lot of them here. All these things start to pile up.

Also not having any friends here makes it hard. At least in Minneapolis I could meet up with some friends at the Bryant Lake Bowl after a long day of job hunting. The loss of familiar surroundings during a transitional time, from college to work, is tough. Last week I spent all day working on applications and before I knew it it was 4 p.m. and I hadn't eaten lunch. I went for a walk to the store and I was so overwhelmed by a feeling of homesickness. I wished I was going down to the French Meadow for a bowl of tomato soup. That's what I was really craving. Instead I was walking down to the corner store. It was sad. We all have those favorite places or things that we do when we are working and need to take a break. 

 I like a change of location, to go some where and get a special coffee or a treat. I don't have those kind of places or treats here yet. I don't doubt that I will, but I miss that soup and all my friends. I miss seeing places that have special meaning for me. I miss driving by a park and being able to say to the other person in the car, hey I once hit a home run there when I was 13.

I was feeling bad enough to go and see a life coach this past Saturday. I was just starting to hate the way I was feeling and needed to go and talk to someone other than Matthew or Wayland. Don't get me wrong. They are both extremely supportive, but I needed to talk to someone who wasn't so close. It was extremely helpful. My coach told me that all the feelings I was having were extremely normal for people who come to London. It was good to hear that. At some level I felt bad for not being happy that I have the chance to live in such an amazing city. The coach told me that London is a very transient city and that at the end of the day to remember that it will be a numbers game. I am going to have keep trying until something sticks. With looking for jobs and with finding friends. I am hanging in there and I've got a few things up my sleeve.