Big Fat Creative Rut

The one interesting thing that has come from filling out all these applications is that it really gives you a chance to do some personal reflection. I have been feeling like the most boring person in the world lately. My creative juices have run dry and I have just felt so uninteresting. I tend to be pretty hard on myself, but being in a rut is just no fun. It's awful. I get down on myself because I feel like I am not doing enough. I have to remind myself that I've had a crazy year and a lot of things to adjust to.

I came to London last October for a study abroad semester at the London College of Communication. As part of my major we are given the choice between studying abroad or doing an externship. An externship is a basically a semester long internship at a place of your choosing. Most people end up working at the place they do their externship so it's a really good transition from college to work. I wasn't interested in doing an externship. I had done 7 internships and since I was a mature student I knew all about what it was like to work for a living. So I decided that study abroad was the way to go. I found the program at LCC and decided to go for it.

Anyway I was having a think about why I was feeling so boring and decided that I would write down things that I've done in the past year, Oprah gratitude style to give myself some perspective. So here I go

A week in Dublin with Katy and Zoe
Classes at LCC
Met my future husband at the Ain't Nothing but the Blues Bar
Went to Brighton twice
Weekend trip to Amsterdam and Munich
Strange job interview
Decided to stay in London and finish MCAD degree online
Last MCAD semester
Moved in with Matthew
Train trip up to Cambridge
Country walks
Roast chicken party
East End craziness ( I like to crash parties)
Worked part time as a nanny
Taylor, Angie, Diane come to visit
My first Boxing Day
Fancy dress New Years
MCAD graduation, Matthew comes to Minnesota for the first time and we get engaged
I start worrying about getting a marriage Visa and doing way too much research
Birthday trip to Barcelona
Moving from Chiswick to Shepherds Bush
Trip to Venice
Engagement party at 400 year old pub
Planning our Vegas wedding
Going to Las Vegas to get married
Having to wait in Mpls for a month for Visa, hanging out with my friends
Coming back to London and start looking for a job
Watching Eastenders
+gigs I've gone to
the Editors
the Magnetic Fields
Iron and Wine
the Clientele
the Shins
Maximo Park
the Gulimots
Elbow
Kid Koala
gigs at the Comedy Store
Wicked
Brian Blessed

there are countless other things, including visiting tons of museums and walking around. Drinking pints, eating pie and mash. I am starting to feel better already. I think the hardest part is just not having any friends here. I've got a great husband and I like his family. I've got a decent flatmate, but I miss my friends. I am hoping that once I go to work I will make some.
In the meantime I am just going to keep at it and putting myself out there. I am not giving up!

photo credit- me
taken at the Camel, my favorite pub in the East End.