Monday Afternoon

I went to the downtown St. Paul public library yesterday. I love being at the library. For me it’s a great place to get inspired. After being dropped off I decided that I would need a little snack before getting going. I walked over to Mickey’s Diner. I love that place. I didn’t get a chance to take Matthew there the last time he was here. Next time. I had a wonderful grilled cheese with crispy bacon and tomato and a bowl of chilli. I just like being in there sitting at the counter. I love hearing all the thick Minnesotan accents. It was just a cozy place to be. They keep your coffee cup full, what more could you ask for.

I went back to the library and spent most of the day in the business library. I like to go through the trade magazines. I flick through the magazines and make lists of things to look up. Of course my main goal is finding a job, so I was having a look through Brand Week, Creativity, Exhibitions, Ad Age. I love how there is a trade publication for everything under the sun. It was good and I got some ideas. So I have things to look up and I am feeling a bit more optimistic.

I was also having a look through some career books. After this week being home I am going to have let go of my frustration and just get on with it. For me the hardest part is starting over. Having to cold call, setting up informational interviews and endless networking. All things I generally like, well except the cold calling. I just did all those things for four years. It was something that I was really proud of. I started building my network day one while at MCAD. I conducted almost 75 informational interviews. I had seven internships, belonged to professional organizations. I knew people.

I am afraid to contact people in London and ask for informational interviews. I ask myself why I would be afraid. I certainly wasn’t afraid to do it in Minneapolis. I think I perceive things to be so cut throat that people wouldn’t want to give me the time of day. I guess it’s also because I feel like I don’t know the rules. Should I phone someone up directly, or send an email. I just have to remember that I am going to have to face rejection. I am finding myself facing a lot of it lately and getting used to it. I am just going to have to get over it and I know that I will.

I am going to allow myself to kick and fuss for the time being and then once I get back to London I am going to accept that I have to start over and quit moaning about it. It feels like I’ve run a 30 mile race and I have come in first place except that they’re not going to give me my medal. Instead I have to run it again….