Lake Harriet, Minneapolis May 6, 2009It's amazing how much and how little has happened all in the space of five months. I am in a sort of bad mood today. A mood where I feel trapped in England and stuck in a life that I am not quite used to. I know I am not literally trapped here, but sometimes that's how I feel. I miss the feeling of familiarity Minneapolis and all just my old way of life. During a day I go through so many feelings about London. At times I love it and then I I wonder what the heck am I doing here.
I have to say that I do like London and living in England. I have come to accept that things are different and I really have come to love living here. I don't want London to be like Minneapolis. I just miss my friends, the familiarity and the feeling of knowing what the heck I am doing.
There are times when I am walking down the street and I am just amazed at how far I've come. Things have definitely not been easy. Trying to find a job has been and still is very hard and a part of me just has a hard time dealing with how long it all seems to be taking. I guess the hard part is that I've got nothing to compare it to and really no one talk about it with over here. I want more than anything to start my career and just get going. Without any feedback it's hard to know if things are normal or I am completely going about things in the wrong way. I know I can be hard on myself at times, but I just want to start my career more than anything in the world.
Every night before I go to sleep I go through in my mind my perfect day and that perfect day involves going to a job that I love and is challenging.
I don't thing I've ever felt change as much as I have living over here. The world is changing, I am changing things are constantly moving forward. My life just feels so different.
I can't wait to see all my friends back in Minneapolis and hear about what everyone has been up to. I am looking forward to getting on the plane and heading home for a bit.
So jealous! I was last in MN for the fair in August and probably won't be back again until this August! And this is such a nice time of year to visit, walk around the lakes, etc.
ReplyDeleteI won't be going back to MN at all this year. :( Enjoy the trip!
ReplyDeleteAnd I wanted to say I can totally relate to all the things you're describing even after 19 years here! It's easier now, of course, because Britain is my home as well--I'm, raising a family here. But the sense of displacement, of lack of familiarity, of having no reference point to anchor onto is really exhausting and frustrating sometimes at the beginning. Especially if you dont have the regular routine of a job. I blogged about culture shock recently so it has been on my mind.
But what a great idea to picture the perfect day before each new day!
Have you heard of The Secret? Your visualisation reminds me of this.
Have fun in MN!
Notfromaroundhere,
ReplyDeleteI was at the fair last August too. What if we passed by each other? How wild would that have been? :)