Sunday, 3 July 2011
Thinking about time
I think a lot about time these days.
I think about.....
How much longer will I be living in London?
How long will we live in the States?
How long will it take to get my UK passport once I've applied?
I think about not having enough hours in the day. About how long my journey to work takes. How fast the weeks seems to go by and how the weekends go by even faster.
I think about if I have time to really meet that friend for a coffee on a Saturday afternoon, or if I should be spending my time doing other things.
I think about how long it would take to do a masters degree. I think about how long it will take for me to advance my career.
I spend time thinking about writing posts on this blog and then feeling bad that I can't find the time.
I think about how I now need to plan what I need to do. If I need to go shopping and it's all the way across town do I really want to make the journey to get there, is it worth the time?
I feel like time is moving at a speed that I've never experienced before. It seems to slip away before I've done so many of things I want to. All of sudden it's 10 p.m. and I still have a full to do list.
I don't know if it's because I am getting older. All I know is that I am more aware of time than ever before and that I feel the need to plan and make sure that I do everything that I want to do in this life.
My friend Becky and I have had talks about this recently. She reckons it's something that starts to happen to you when you turn 30. That you realise that life isn't forever in a way that seems much different from when you're in your 20's.
I think that it's partly because of living here in London that I've had the chance to reflect on my life in way that I wasn't able to back in Minneapolis. I sometimes feel like I've been plucked out of one life and dropped into another. I feel more or less the same, yet things feel that tiny bit different.
The main reason that I've been thinking so much about time is that I am coming up to 3 years here in the UK and after October 11th I can apply for my UK passport.
Which means that we've thinking about when we'll go and live in Minnesota. When I married Matthew we made a deal that at some point (after I got my UK passport) that we'd live for at least a year in Minneapolis. Just so Matthew could see what life is like where I grew up and for us to spend some time with my friends and family.
I'd really like Matthew to experience what it's like to be Minnesota, because being Minnesotan is pretty brilliant and I'd like him to have the chance to live in another country. I want to show him everything about a place that I love. I think Matthew would make a great Minnesotan.
At the moment nothing is set in stone when anything is going to happen. The only thing weighing on my shoulders is if we're going to start a family at some point where is that going to be? Do I want to raise a family in London? Would we live in MN or somewhere else in England? So many things to think about and consider. So many things to think about.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven"