Thinking about time

I think a lot about time these days. 


I think about.....


How much longer will I be living in London?


How long will we live in the States?


How long will it take to get my UK passport once I've applied?


I think about not having enough hours in the day. About how long my journey to work takes. How fast the weeks seems to go by and how the weekends go by even faster.


I think about if I have time to really meet that friend for a coffee on a Saturday afternoon, or if I should be spending my time doing other things. 


I think about how long it would take to do a masters degree.  I think about how long it will take for me to advance my career.


I spend time thinking about writing posts on this blog and then feeling bad that I can't find the time.


I think about how I now need to plan what I need to do. If I need to go shopping and it's all the way across town do I really want to make the journey to get there, is it worth the time?


I feel like time is moving at a speed that I've never experienced before. It seems to slip away before I've done so many of things I want to. All of sudden it's 10 p.m. and I still have a full to do list.


I don't know if it's because I am getting older. All I know is that I am more aware of time than ever before and that I feel the need to plan and make sure that I do everything that I want to do in this life.


My friend Becky and I have had talks about this recently. She reckons it's something that starts to happen to you when you turn 30. That you realise that life isn't forever in a way that seems much different from when you're in your 20's.


 I think that it's partly because of living here in London that I've had the chance to reflect on my life in way that I wasn't able to back in Minneapolis. I sometimes feel like I've been plucked out of one life and dropped into another. I feel more or less the same, yet things feel that tiny bit different. 


The main reason that I've been thinking so much about time is that I am coming up to 3 years here in the UK and after October 11th I can apply for my UK passport. 


Which means that we've thinking about when we'll go and live in Minnesota. When I married Matthew we made a deal that at some point (after I got my UK passport) that we'd live for at least a year in Minneapolis. Just so Matthew could see what life is like where I grew up and for us to spend some time with my friends and family. 


I'd really like Matthew to experience what it's like to be Minnesota, because being Minnesotan is pretty brilliant and I'd like him to have the chance to live in another country. I want to show him everything about a place that I love. I think Matthew would make a great Minnesotan.


At the moment nothing is set in stone when anything is going to happen. The only thing weighing on my shoulders is if we're going to start a family at some point where is that going to be? Do I want to raise a family in London? Would we live in MN or somewhere else in England? So many things to think about and consider. So many things to think about.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" 

Thinking about writing and writing aren't actually the same thing

I know it's a cardinal sin of blogging to write about a post apologizing for not blogging, but that's not what this post is going to be about. 

Although I only wrote one post during the month of February, but it's such a short month. That and the fact that I was looking for a new job because my company just decided that it wasn't going to exist any more meant that I was both stressed and busy.

I spend a far amount of time thinking about writing. Ideas for blog posts, ideas for short stories, ideas for books. The problem isn't coming up with topics to write about, it's just finding the time to write. I like how I phrased that just then. Makes it seem like I am just a super busy person who doesn't have the time to write, instead of making it seem like I am person who isn't as disciplined about her writing as she would like to be.

I should give myself more credit than that. I do manage to keep this blog updated. It's just that my nature to write has more to do with being in the mood to write. That's not a good habit to get into. If we did things only when we felt in the mood to do things we'd really be in trouble. 

One thing I've been thinking a lot about lately is what direction this blog is going to take or does it need a new direction? What do I want to write about? Should I be more focused on writing what it's like living here in London? 

The problem with shoulds

Should I write more about the culture, the differences between here and home, things I love about the UK, things I hate, should I be more positive sounding, should I try to communicate a more intimate side, what should my tone be? Should I move from Blogger to Wordpress? Should I care more about SEO and who reads my blog? 

Should I try to get brands to notice me? Should I have ads on my blogs? Should I go to more expat blogger MeetUps? Should I spend more time proofreading my posts? I am building enough links? Should I be scheduling my posts? 

Am I fool for posting four posts in one day? Should I be saving them up and spreading them out over the month to make up for the times I don't feel like writing? Have I lost my unique point of view because now I work in social media and someone from work could be reading my blog and judging me? Am I turning into an ego maniac because I am worried that people from work are reading my blog and judging me? Are my posts boring?

You get the picture. Too many shoulds and not enough time.

The kind of blogs I like

I like to read blogs about people's lives and the more personal the better. That's what I like. I follow up on tech/social media/creative blogs because that's what I am into for work, but the blogs I love most are about people's lives.

I don't follow a million blogs, but a few lovingly chosen few. I read blogs written by women who are American and live in the UK. I also read a few blogs by British women who live in America. 

One of my favourite personal blogs is No Sleep till Brixton, by Mary Ivers. Mary is a very talented and witty writer and I am very lucky to be able to call her my friend. Her observations on life are so brilliant that I wish she would quit her day job and become a full time writer. You would definitely want to read her books.

I also love the blog Weapons of Mass Distraction written by Sharyn Morrow. I first met Sharyn back in 2000 on the way to Iceland. She was a friend of my boyfriend at the time and we were on the same flight over. Sharyn is a fantastic writer and photographer. I like the way she blogs about the good times and the bad times in a way that is authentic and relate able. She lives in Minneapolis and I love living vicariously through her photos on Flickr.

My blog roll of favourites wouldn't be complete without mentioning Taylor Baldry's blog Gerpan. Taylor and I went to MCAD together and have been fast friends ever since. He's one of my favourite people in the entire world. He decided to take a hiatus from working in the world of marketing to teach English in Japan and has been there almost two years now. He's there now and writing about what it's like living through the tsunami, earthquake and radiation scare. What I love about Taylor is that he never looses his sense of humor. Please read his blog about his current situation in Japan.

Another favourite blog that I've been reading for years is the Candy Blog. A blog all about candy, what's not to love. I love the format, the way the author Cybele reviews the candy and her photos. It's wonderful and I highly recommend it. 

Anyway......I digress....

The main thing is that I've been struggling with how and what I want to write about mainly because I am worried about how I will be perceived. Which isn't the kind of blog writer I want to be. I am going to try to follow in the footsteps of Mary, Sharyn and Taylor and write from the heart. Here's to a new month full of exciting and real blog posts.....

Thanks for reading and for all your comments :)