Back in Minnesota

Technically I've been back in Minneapolis, MN for a year and three months and in that time I think I may have posted a total of 3 times. I spent part of this afternoon going through my blog reading list and having a look to see what was happening on the other expat blogs. So many people have left England or wherever they were living to return to America and some have been very good about documenting what it's like to be back on your home turf. 

I admit that I've been busy getting adjusted and settled in that I didn't make as much time for writing as I would have liked to, but now that winter is drawing near I feel like more blog posts will be appearing. 

There are so many things to write about. Coming back to America has not what I thought it would be, in both good and bad ways. It has been interesting and exciting to see how Matthew adjusts to being Minnesotan and how we know think about this America and how we think about England. 

Stay tuned for more posts and thanks to all the other expat bloggers out there who continue to share their stories.

Getting a Spouse Visa

Looking back over my immigration journey I spent probably too much time worrying about all the things that could have gone wrong, but you know what? It all worked out. I thought I'd share my journey with all those who are going through it. The key bit of advice would be this, don't worry about what may or may not happen. If you are a real couple and meet all the criteria then you will be fine.





Spouse Visa 




I met Matthew in October 2007 and we  decided to get married in August 2008. I remember us beginning to figure out everything we needed to do in order for me to get my spouse visa. 


I don't remember the exact date, but Matthew and I decided to go and see an immigration lawyer to make sure we understood the process. It was definitely worth the money at the time, I remember it being around £75. We are able to ask all the questions that we wanted. The immigration lawyer offered a service where they would fill out your application for you at the modest sum of £500! Please don't waste your money. Having an immigration lawyer fill out your application won't guarantee you anything. The visa's are expensive enough without wasting money for someone just to fill out a straightforward form.


I can remember reading loads about how to get the spouse visa on the internet and at the time it was a bit daunting. I guess the most scary thing about was the uncertainty over whether or not it would be approved. Looking back I can see that it would be highly unlikely that I would have been refused, but you just never know. 


After we were married Matthew went back to London and I stayed behind in Minnesota to wait for my visa to come through. Since I was only in London on a tourist visa I had to return home to send the application.


We had to wait for the marriage certificate to be sent out before we could send off the application. In theory that should have taken a week, but for some reason instead of sending to my address in MN it was sent to London!


That was really annoying. Matthew tried to send it back to me, overnight via DHL, but that got cocked up. The letter ended up sitting in a distribution center in Detroit for several days. A week later it finally arrived and I went and sent off the application.


Once it was sent the waiting began. It was good to be spending some time in MN, but it was really hard being new married and away from Matthew. It was a weird limbo time for me. I was staying with friends and I wasn't working. Not knowing how long I was going to be in MN was a bit stressful. In the end after the spouse visa application was sent it only took about 3 weeks for it to be approved. 


The application itself was pretty straightforward. We had to prove that we were a legitimate couple. I ended up printing out email conversations, photos of us on holiday and photocopying cards that we had received as a couple. We also had to show proof that Matthew had a place for us to live and that we had a certain amount of income, basically they wanted to make sure that we could support ourselves. 


All I have to say is that if you are a real couple and you meet the requirements than you will be fine. I spent a lot of timing worrying that my application wouldn't be approved. I read way too many stories of couples who were separate for months and other immigration horror stories. Don't waste your time getting stressed over what might happen, just make sure you fill out everything carefully and be prepared to be patient if the processing times are longer than you would want them. 

Becoming British

Yesterday it was a cold and snowy day in London. I had spent much of the day in the flat doing odds and ends when finally it was time to brave the cold and go out to the shops. Matthew and I bundled up and headed out in search of ingredients for a classic tuna hot dish.  When we got back and stopped to check the post we discovered two interesting looking envelopes from our local council addressed to me. 

Since I never get any letters from the council this could only mean one thing, news about my citizenship application. After tearing open the letter I was very happy to see that my application had been accepted and I had also been assigned a citizenship ceremony to take place on the 22 of February. 

What a feeling. I would even venture to say that I was chuffed to bits!

I applied for citizenship back on November 6, 2011 and you just never know how long things might take. I was told that it could take up to six months and so that was kinda what I was expecting. I also didn't realise that they would assign you a date for the ceremony. I thought that I would have to phone up and do that on my own. I've also heard people say that it can take a long time to get a place at a ceremony. 

Matthew of course was very excited, especially because I have to pledge an oath to the Queen. I am excited too and also relieved that it's all sorted now. 

It is a bit strange to think that I am now a British citizen. It's just something that I never thought in my wildest dreams would ever happen. 

I know the journey to citizenship is a subject that people are generally interested in so I thought I'd condense my journey down so you that people can get a general idea of how it all works.

Looking back this entire process of marrying someone from another country and sorting out all the visas seemed really daunting and at times a bit scary. I can say now that it's really nothing to get worked up over, as long as you're in a real relationship with someone and you follow all the directions you'll be fine. 

I'd also like to say thank you to all the other expat bloggers out there who have taken the time to share their journeys and also all the wonderful people who take the time to write on the UK Yankee Forum. It's always comforting to read other people's stories. 

Life in the UK: could you pass the citizenship test?

I saw this on the American Expat in London blog today. I took my Life in UK test last year and I remember lots of people wanted to look at the book. People would debate about how many actual British citizens would pass it.

The Guardian posted an online quiz so you can have a go and see how well you'd score!

Washing up liquid or dish soap?

If you really miss the nice metal teeth, watch this video and you can see them tearing off a piece of foil! Heaven :) http://www.reynoldspkg.com/reynoldskitchens/en/product.asp?prod_id=1789

The other day I was on the American Expats in London Facebook page and saw a question asking if it was possible to buy Dawn dish soap (washing up liquid). I thought it was an interesting thing to want to buy over here, because in my opinion the dish soap you can get here is just as good. 


Further into the thread someone asked what was up with "What's up with the lousy 'zip' lock bags?" and then this of course led into a bit of back and forth about the superiority of Ziploc baggies and our tin foil (Renyolds Wrap) that comes in a box with nice sharp teeth so you can easily tear it. 


I was of coursed lured into the thread because I too stand behind the quality of American Ziploc baggies and whenever I go home I always buy a few boxes to bring back with me. 


Naturally the thread turned to helpful people mentioning you can get American things at Costco and then of course someone mentioned that they missed Girl Scout cookies.


I digress......


The point is after adding my comment about the baggies, I took a moment to reflect on the original post about wanting to know where you can buy Dawn dish soap. 


I thought to myself that of all the things to miss product wise a person feels that they need to have American dish soap? I also thought that it was pretty ridiculous and that they needed to toughen up and just get on with it. I thought this person isn't going to make it if they can't are so set in their ways about dish soap. I mean if Fairy liquid is good enough for the Queen, surely an expat can use it. 


There are of course things that I miss, food and product wise. Food especially. Things like Spaghettio's with meatballs (Hoops just aren't the same), Velveeta mac and cheese, frozen pizza, certain kinds of canned soup. I do agree that the foil here is rubbish. However, I've had to face facts and the make the best of it. 


After reading the thread I thought what an absolute waste of time to even be posting that question. Then 30 seconds later I felt that I had been a bit heartless and judgmental. Perhaps that dish soap had a special meaning to that person, or they just love washing dishes. I don't know and it doesn't matter. Although the fact that I felt so heartless and flippant about it signaled to me, that I was becoming more like a local and less like an expat. 


The point is this, all us expats go through adjusting to life in our new country in our own ways. 


The things I missed during my first two years here seem like a long time ago. You definitely get to the point where things just kind of click. You go to the grocery store and you don't wish you could buy certain America products. You'll find that one day you don't even notice everyone's accent and you find yourself getting the first round in. I'll bet there even comes a day when you don't even care what washing up liquid you use anymore....

Can Brits work in America?

This is Matthew, he is English!

//My good American friend Taylor Baldry  sent my English husband this email. He was giving him some ideas for employment when we move to Minnesota.///

Dear Matthew,

I do miss a karaoke-ing-a-go-go. But it sounds like, from what I hear, that it won't be too long until we once again will be able to share a mic but this time in the Land of the Free.

Speaking of Cash, have you seen this video? It is a crowd-sourced animation where anyone can contribute a frame to the project: 

http://www.thejohnnycashproject.com/#/explore/TopRated

Also speaking of cash, here are some ideas for your new job in America:

1. Fake tour guide. This is something that I always wanted to do - give people tours based that are based on make-believe. There actually is a business in Chicago that does this.  

2. Hire an Englishmen. In China, a White man can make a fine living being rented out for parties, business openings and such as their presence supposedly adds a sense of sophistication, hipness and diversity. So in Minnesota, offer yourself up so people can hire you for various events to make them seem more witty or perhaps glum.

3. Start wind farms in the middle of one of Minnesota's many lakes. It's windy.

4. Become a street map seller. You know how in LA there are people that sell "Maps of the Stars" to tourists? Sure you do. Well team up with your wife, Rhea, to pinpoint interesting (or perhaps very uninteresting) places in Minneapolis. The maps could also be very personal - for example "this is where I threw-up on myself, this is where I found $5, this is where I was when my doctor called me to let me know that my gonorrhea results came back negative." etc.

5. Train conductor.

6. Become a butler. Check out this site on how to become, as the name suggests, a modern butler. They have some very educational videos on packing a suitcase.

Summer in Minneapolis

I love Sharyn Morrow's photography and I will readily admit to living vicariously through her pictures. I was missing the summer in Minneapolis today, especially as it's cold, gray and rainy here in London. I found these pictures on her Flickr and thought they did a good job of summing up summer in Minnesota. Sharyn's blog Weapons of Massdistraction is one of my favourites, it's a good read! 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharynmorrow/5758390437/in/set-72157626803930106/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharynmorrow/5873142505/in/photostream

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sharynmorrow/5923593722/in/photostream

Sharyn Marrow Photography

Thinking about time

I think a lot about time these days. 


I think about.....


How much longer will I be living in London?


How long will we live in the States?


How long will it take to get my UK passport once I've applied?


I think about not having enough hours in the day. About how long my journey to work takes. How fast the weeks seems to go by and how the weekends go by even faster.


I think about if I have time to really meet that friend for a coffee on a Saturday afternoon, or if I should be spending my time doing other things. 


I think about how long it would take to do a masters degree.  I think about how long it will take for me to advance my career.


I spend time thinking about writing posts on this blog and then feeling bad that I can't find the time.


I think about how I now need to plan what I need to do. If I need to go shopping and it's all the way across town do I really want to make the journey to get there, is it worth the time?


I feel like time is moving at a speed that I've never experienced before. It seems to slip away before I've done so many of things I want to. All of sudden it's 10 p.m. and I still have a full to do list.


I don't know if it's because I am getting older. All I know is that I am more aware of time than ever before and that I feel the need to plan and make sure that I do everything that I want to do in this life.


My friend Becky and I have had talks about this recently. She reckons it's something that starts to happen to you when you turn 30. That you realise that life isn't forever in a way that seems much different from when you're in your 20's.


 I think that it's partly because of living here in London that I've had the chance to reflect on my life in way that I wasn't able to back in Minneapolis. I sometimes feel like I've been plucked out of one life and dropped into another. I feel more or less the same, yet things feel that tiny bit different. 


The main reason that I've been thinking so much about time is that I am coming up to 3 years here in the UK and after October 11th I can apply for my UK passport. 


Which means that we've thinking about when we'll go and live in Minnesota. When I married Matthew we made a deal that at some point (after I got my UK passport) that we'd live for at least a year in Minneapolis. Just so Matthew could see what life is like where I grew up and for us to spend some time with my friends and family. 


I'd really like Matthew to experience what it's like to be Minnesota, because being Minnesotan is pretty brilliant and I'd like him to have the chance to live in another country. I want to show him everything about a place that I love. I think Matthew would make a great Minnesotan.


At the moment nothing is set in stone when anything is going to happen. The only thing weighing on my shoulders is if we're going to start a family at some point where is that going to be? Do I want to raise a family in London? Would we live in MN or somewhere else in England? So many things to think about and consider. So many things to think about.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" 

I've got a new job!

My dream job at LBi

Yes that's right. A beautiful, bright shiny new job! 

I started working at LBi as a Social Media Account Manager just four weeks ago! This is very good news. 

The last company that I worked for was WAXAgency went out of business and it's a long story. It's a long story with a fantastic ending, me ending up on the social media team at the best digital agency in London.

I can't believe that I've been there for four weeks already! It's flown by. I've got a few projects to get me going and there's lots happening. The team at the London office has been around for 6 months and is rapidly growing. Tomorrow my boss, the Head of Social Media, is going to present the new team structure. The other perk is that I am working with great people, people who I really like! 

This job is more than just a job to me. It represents me reaching a significant milestone in my career journey here in London. I started writing this blog to document my experiences of working and living in London. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but it's been well worth it.

When I was first looking for a job in London back in October 2008 I met a woman through the She Says network who worked at LBi. After meeting her I went and had a look at the agency's website and thought that it looked amazing. I had in the back of mind that I wanted to one day work at LBi, so I am pretty excited that dream has come true.

After getting my first job in London I found it a bit challenging to write about it. I didn't feel it was right to expect my unsuspecting colleagues to play leading characters in my blog drama. I feel like people have the right to privacy. At that point I felt like I wanted to write about what was happening on a day to day basis at work, but I didn't.

Writing about working in London

However, what I want to write about now is the entire experience of starting out to finally landing what I like to refer to as my dream job. A journey that started back in 2008. 

What I am not sure about is the format in which I go about writing about it. Do I do it here on this blog? Do I start another blog? Should I just write it as a book?
 

I am leaning towards just writing it as a book, a sort of inspiration how to guide. The purpose of the writing is to share my story of coming to London as an American and finding a job (during the height of the recession) in a very tough and competitive field (digital Advertising). 

My audience is going to be expats who have recently arrived in London, who are looking for jobs and the message that I want to put across is one of hope. When I was first looking for my first job I would go onto the UKYankee forums and read hundreds of posts about Americans who were having really hard times breaking into the UK job market. 

I wished I had found a few good stories in those posts, so now I am going to add my own!

The Happiness Project

I just finished reading this book and I loved it. I had been waiting to read it for about a month. I had ordered it on Amazon and it ended up never coming so I had to cancel and then reorder. Once it arrived I read it in three days.


I've been thinking a lot about happiness these past few months and what I want to do with my life, five year and ten year kind of plan thing. I am not unhappy, but I think it will be good for me to really think about what I am trying to achieve. So I am going to be focusing this week on happiness related to my career.


I started out this blog almost two years ago now. It seems like such a long time ago! The purpose at the time was to write about what it was like starting a career in London. I wanted to capture the experience of what it was like to go from a very familiar and established environment (Minneapolis) to something completely unknown (London) and share what it was like to find a job and then what it was like working in London.


The only issues is now that I am working I can't really write about it. I want to respect the privacy of the people I work with and there's always the issue of not knowing who's going to be reading, which can be a bit of a pain if things aren't going so well. So I am going to write a bit about what it is ideally that I want out of work.


I would describe myself as an ambitious self directed person who has always been able to figure things out and make things hap


My career is important to me, I like work. My guiding philosophy has always been I do what I love and love what I do. When I look back over my CV/resume I am happy with every single job that's listed there. I've looked for challenging opportunities. I believe that when you do something you love it doesn't feel like work at all.


What do I want from work? I want to be part of a thriving dynamic and energetic team. I want to work with people who are excited to get out of bed and get to work.  I also at some point want to lead a team. I have always been a natural leader and can see myself working towards that.  I thrive on collaboration. I of course am able to work on my own, but I enjoy working with other people.


 I want to get better at what I am doing and be constantly learning. I want to be productive and make things happen. I like people and am  good at getting people to work together. I also am not precious with my ideas and am open to other people's points of view. Of course I think I have great ideas, but I am not afraid to have them challenged and expanded upon. I want to be busy. I want to make mistakes, to take risks and to really push things. I want to be so excited about an idea that it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I want to solve problems.


 I do feel very happy with what I've achieved in London. I remember reading on the UK Yankee forum back in 2008 about people who were never able to work in their chosen fields and worrying that I might end up doing something completely unrelated. Hard work has paid off and I am proud to say that I've been working in my chosen industry.


So I am going to spending some time this week thinking about career goals. I've got an informational interview coming up with a successful lady and a new mentor which I am very excited about.


Lots of exciting things are happening!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one my favourite holidays... I love it so much. It's a day of not only for feasting, but spending time with friends and family. I really wished that I had gone home this year for Thanksgiving with Matthew. Thankfully I can live vicariously through my friends status updates and photos. 

I don't really do anything for Thanksgiving here in London. The first year I was here I went to a party that was hosted by the American friend of my flatmate. It was a lot of fun, a bunch of Americans studying abroad trying to share our tradition with our new friends. 

As much as I miss the holiday I don't really feel the need to recreate it over here. I thought about cooking the Thanksgiving dinner for Matthew, but I am willing to wait for him to experience it in America. This may or may not have to do with the fact that I've never cooked a turkey before, but Matthew doesn't need to know that.

I've also been getting into all the black friday hype online and telling Matthew all about it. He can't imagine why on earth people would get up to be a store for 4 a.m. I've tried to explain the theory behind the door busters, but I think he'll also have to experience that first hand.

In all honesty I've never been the kind of person to engage in the crazy day after Thanksgiving shopping, but for some reason I feel the urge to! 

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! I feel very thankful for all the amazing people I have in my life. I just feel so grateful for everything that I have.

Baseball

The photo is from my trip to MN this summer, where we did go to a Twins game at the new outdoor stadium. 

It's 5:53 a.m. I am up. I've started a new early bed early to rise project yesterday. Before I woke up I was dreaming about being with Matthew at a baseball game in Minnesota. We were sitting there watching the game when it stopped and it was announced that we were going to sing the national anthem. I thought this was a little strange since it was in the middle of the game, but stood up to stand and placed my hand over my heart. The song started and it wasn't the Star Spangled Banner but some other song that I had never heard of. Everyone knew the words, but me. I thought how strange! They've got a new song now and I didn't even now about it. I've only been away for 4 years and they go and change the national anthem?

A few minutes later the alarm goes off and here I am writing about it. 

Thinking about it now I am not surprised about the dream. I've been thinking a lot about America lately. Since the massive snow storm MN had this past weekend it has been on my mind. Not in a homesick way, but in a different way. 

I was coming home from work last night and the tube stopped at a station for a while. I was reading a book so the delay didn't bother me. A woman who was standing spoke up and said "I am sorry to have to say anything, but I am due to have my baby in two weeks. Would someone please give me their seat?"

Of course someone did right away. I was so engrossed in my book that I didn't even notice her. I thought that they way she started out that request was very English with the I am sorry...at the beginning of a perfectly reasonable request.

Anyway, she sat down and then after a few seconds the man next to her asked her if she knew it was a boy or a girl and made a little bit of conversation with her, they were both English. It was a nice little conversation between two strangers. It didn't last very long, but it was still nice to over hear. You usually don't hear anyone speaking to each other on the tube unless they know each other. 

I looked up over my book at the woman and she smiled at me, which was really nice. I don't know, it was just a rare and lovely moment between people on the underground. It reminded me a little bit of something that would happen in Minnesota. I sometimes miss those nice friendly interactions with strangers.

I got off the tube and walked home thinking about Minnesota. Thinking about all the people and places that were there still going on without me. Even though I was all the way over here, life was still going on. My friends were in their houses, my favourite coffee shop was still there and I am sure they still would be when I get back.

In some ways that's comforting, but it's still strange. It sometimes feels like I've been plucked out of one reality and dropped into another one.

It's a strange experience in some ways to live in another country and be able to view your own country through the lens of an observer. While the storm was happening I watched the KARE 11 news with Matthew and it was so weird. The people in the newscast and they way they were delivering the news was so weird now after watching the BBC. It just seemed so fake.

That's my post for now. We'll see what other dreams I have about it tonight.

Feeling more at home

I think one thing that has definitely changed within the last few months is that I am starting to feel at home in London in a way that I haven't before. I no longer feel like the person who is constantly battling against feeling out of place or who wants to focus on how different everything. I find myself going with the flow and feeling more relaxed and adjusted that I have ever felt. 

At the same time I still feel conflicted and homesick, but in a much different way than I have before. I think I've also rebelled against writing about it too. 

I've grown tired of talking about where I am from. I think this should make sense to other expat bloggers. I am tired of most of the conversation being about being from some place else and then moving onto thoughts and observations about life in London. 

Of course I realise that the majority of the population of London if from some place else, but I feel like I end up spewing out the same speech time after time only to end up boring myself not to mention the other people.

Do other expats feel this way? I'd be interested in finding out what you all think.

Back to the States!!!!

The last time I was in America was May 2009. It was a for a  long weekend to attend a wedding and it seems like a million years ago. I've thought a lot about going home for a visit over the past year, but to be honest I felt really hesitant about it.

I was really afraid of how I would feel if that makes any sense. While it would be great to see everyone that I had missed so much I worried that I would be really sad once I came back to London. So I stayed away. I thought it would be just too sad to have to say good bye to everyone.

They say in many articles about adjusting to a new country that there are different stages that an expat goes through. Even though I decided to live in London I still went and am going through these different stages.

Stage 1 - Excitement
The individual experiences a holiday or 'honeymoon' period with their new surroundings.
They:
. Feel very positive about the culture
. Are overwhelmed with impressions
. Find the new culture exotic and are fascinated
. Are passive, meaning they have little experience of the culture


(Oct 2007 - August 2008) Stage 1 happened when I first arrived to study in 2007 at LCC. I loved London and found everything to be amazing and I liked how different it all was. I would say that I was definitely in the honeymoon period up until I came back married and ready to really live in London. Up until that point I had been studying and having fun. I did miss home, mainly the people, but it didn't bother me too much.


Stage 2 - Withdrawal
The individual now has some more face to face experience of the culture and starts to find things different, strange and frustrating.

They:
. Find the behaviour of the people unusual and unpredictable
. Begin to dislike the culture and react negatively to the behaviour
. Feel anxious
. Start to withdraw
. Begin to criticize, mock or show animosity to the people

(October 2008- February 2010) Stage 2  kicked in when I arrived back from the States to live here properly. This is when I started my job search and was trying to find my feet. I felt irritable and isolated and at times even hostile towards other people. I was tired of being different. I missed the comfort and familiarity of where I was from. A lot of things felt challenging and annoying. I also was really feeling very homesick at this point. This was a rotten stage to be in.

Stage 3 - Adjustment
The individual now has a routine, feels more settled and is more confident in dealing with the new culture.

They:
. Understand and accept the behaviour of the people
. Feel less isolated
. Regains their sense of humour

(February 2010 - April 2010) Stage 3 began for me just about the time that I decided to leave my job. I finished my job on the last day of February and then immediately the next day I went on a week long skiing holiday with Matthew, his brother Thomas and our friends Ali and Becky. That was a fantastic trip and I knew when I got back that things were going to be different. I felt like I had overcome a hurdle and was moving on. It was a great feeling! 

I don't know how to really explain it, but I felt different as a person.

Stage 4 - Enthusiasm
The individual now feels 'at home'.

They:
. Enjoy being in the culture
. Functions well in the culture
. Prefer certain cultural traits of the new culture rather than their own
. Adopt certain behaviours from the new culture

(April 2010 - present) Stage 4 I can't tell you how happy I am to be at this stage. Don't get me wrong. I of course get homesick and miss my friends and family and at times feel uncertain about things, but I feel the love and excitement I once had for London again. I feel so much more alive and happy about everything now. I love my job and where I am living, things are falling into place due to hard work and perseverance.

Of course moving through these steps wasn't as clear cut as I've made it out to be in this short post, but looking back I can definitely see myself experiencing them.

So I feel really good about going back to Minnesota for a visit and all that I've achieved since I've been in London. I never really thought it would be hard to adjust to a new country, but it does make you a stronger person. 

I can't wait to be back and see everyone that I've missed so much.